Thursday, April 25, 2013

Simply Put...Or Not...

You know how sometimes you know something, but you don't really "Know" it, and one day, all of a sudden, you actually realize what you knew all along?
Yea...I doubt that any amount of coffee is going to make this one coherent...

I realized that there really is no out of this D/s thing. Oh you can logic your way around it all you want, but really--we were made for D/s. I agreed to it, and this is not an arrangement that he will allow me to get out of. Ever.
In some form or fashion, we will always be D/s. And I will always be the s.

A functioning relationship is not just D/s, it is more than power exchange, beyond kink--it is a  symbiotic partnership of human beings.
I think though, that for some of us, Dominance and submission is a requirement for that symbiosis.
I'm not exactly sure when it became a lifetime commitment like marriage...It just kind of happened.

I don't always want to be the submissive.
But as he said the other day, "You know why you can't have whatever your little heart desires, why it is that you can't do whatever you want? Because deep down in your heart, that's not what makes you happy. It's not what you need."
I have thought a lot about that statement. And dammit, it seems to be true. Sometimes I just really want what I want. But it's not what I need. And sometimes, I really don't want what I need, because it's just not what I want.

Sometimes he makes me so mad that I can't even see straight, sometimes I think that he expects the moon and doesn't want to give the stars, sometimes I want out of this particular arrangement of power that we call D/s, sometimes I think that he's pig-headed, arrogant, and just wants his damn way no matter whether it's right or not.
Sometimes, I really don't want what I need because it's really not what I want.
And sometimes...

 Sometimes, things get like this:

We go through this:

And eventually, we will find ourselves here:

Sometimes, we can't have what we want, because it's not what we need.


  1. This really spoke to me on so many levels and this was just a powerful statement. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Anastasia,
      thank you, and you are quite welcome.

  2. I actually understand what you're saying but I still want what I want not always what I need. To me they are two different things.

    1. sunnygirl,
      I think that they can be very different things. It's that clash when those things don't seem compatible that trips me up...

  3. Wouldn't live be so much sunnier if 'wants' and 'needs' were the same things?? Hoping the sun comes out soon for you.

    1. Sarah,
      omgoodness, yessssssssss!

  4. It is tricky i think at times to rationalise with ourselves that they know what we need/want perhaps better than we do...tricky but also scary? perhaps because its that relinquishing of deciding what we think we want and need?

    not sure if that makes sense


    1. tori,
      it does make sense (and no coffee yet even).
      Then there is the issue that he isn't always right, so when what I need and want turn out not to be compatible, I seem to be willing to argue on behalf of the wants.
      Okay, that might not have made sense...

  5. This made sense to me lil but it can be frustrating, very frustrating when the wants and the needs don't match up.

    As long as you realize the good times will come out of it, your ok.

    1. dancingbarez,
      it really is quite frustrating.

  6. You sound pretty coherent to me. Maybe coz I've had super strong coffee too? :) But in all seriousness, I understood :)

    Dee x

    1. Dee,
      Ooh, do have any idea how rare it is for someone to tell me that I sound coherent?

      It is nice to be understood.

  7. you are very coherent. I always want things i dont need. I get most of them but not all of them and we go threw the pictures above too lol. couldnt have said it better.

    1. sinister,
      I don't always feel coherent!
      Thank you.


Play nice.