I think that there are a fair amount of new submissives (can someone please tell me why Blogger insists that "submissives" is not a valid word when I intend it to be in the plural form?) who reach out and ask for advice from bloggers.
I'll admit that I often feel a moment of stress when asked for advice. Because well, what makes them think that I know what I'm talking about, I think I'm pretty clueless most of the time...And no one wants to fuck up that kind of advice right?
But I like to think that they could do worse, so I always try to provide them with thoughtful responses which I hope they find helpful.
One thing I have noticed though, is the tendency of many new Dominants to not appreciate advice from submissives. Indeed, they occasionally seem to take serious offense at it on the grounds that they are Dominant and subs are...Submissive.
Now, I can totally understand the value of getting advice from an experienced Dominant, and I'm not knocking it in the least; however, I wonder at the validity of a thought process wherein someone believes that a submissive lacks the ability to offer thoughts that may be helpful to a Dominant.
After all, it would be ludicrous to assume that one learns the best way to Dominate their partner from some omnipotent and ethereal entity in the sky, right?
I will admit that sometimes a good portion of it is innate character; however, while we do learn from them, they also learn from us.
In my opinion, if we are to categorically state that a Dominant cannot learn from a submissive, we are then saying that he is entirely to dense to be in charge of anyone, or that the Dominant can never really know his submissive--because knowing requires learning.
It is true that the value of advice is dependent on its source. But people's thoughts and suggestions should not be discounted simply because of which side of the D/s slash they reside on.
Alpha runs my life to the extent he wishes to. No more and no less. Yet, when he wants advice, I am the person he asks. This is due in no small part to the fact that he knows I will always have his/our best interests in mind. But it's also because I have a brain that, for the most part, works quite well.
Really, we aren't much different from the rest of the world--some people are worth listening to, and some are not.
I have always believed that it is a person's mind and experience that give their advice value, not their status.