Friday, May 13, 2011

Eden Fantasys review--Instruments of evil, Oops, I mean "nipple clamps"

 Well, Eden Fantasys doesn't have them labeled as instruments of evil, but they most certainly are!
Okay, so I got to choose the toy for review this time. I exercised questionable judgment at best. At worst I added the most awful little instruments of pain in the whole damn toy box. And I was ridiculously naive about it too--"Oh I would just love to review those!" Hah. Would love to review once in a lifetime and return to sender lol.
We got the "Fresh Jaws Nipple Clamps." So what if the name and description should have made me run. I was presented with a nice little variety of sex toys to choose from...Apparently I'm not as cautious as I should be lol. For someone who loves pain, these things are great. For someone who has a love-hate relationship with pain...Well, I think I have been cured of my moderate masochistic tendencies. I could have chosen a different kind of nipple clamps, but I was feeling extra stupid brave that day and went after these with a gusto that has now been viciously sensuously pinched out of me.

Fresh Jaws Nipple Clamps, also known to me personally, as "instruments of evil"

As you can see, they are rather pretty and deceptively cute. Eden Fantasys says that, in all, these pretty little clamps only weigh 1 1/2 ounces. When Alpha put them on me I would have sworn they weighed a hell of a lot more than that lol. The whole thing is metal except for the bumpy rubber coating right where they latch on. They are pretty thin and don't look quite as sturdy as the chain, but I think that if you haven't made it to the "guy with a chainsaw" stage of pain enjoyment, they are a lot sturdier than they look. The sadistic bastard Alpha experimented a bit with pulling the chain, and I can tell you, these are Not going to accidentally fall off. They stay where you put them (much to my awe and dismay). You can get inventive (inventiveness is totally overrated btw), and also apply them to, ahem, other parts if you're so inclined. That makes them pretty versatile as far as toys go--lots of, ummm, options.
I have seen lots of toys that are just tacky--they are cheaply made, don't do the things they are advertised to, break when you look at them, and are pretty much made for child's play or the weak minded lol.
I can safely say, that these nipple clamps possess none of those qualities.

Personally, I think these are best used when you have the time to warm up first. Pain becomes much more tolerable and enjoyable when you start out easy and work your way up (or down as I think of it). Jumping straight in with these was kind of rough.
Also, I came fairly close to waking up the kids, so if you are a masochistic wuss like me, it's probably a good idea to employ a gag, add extra insulation to your walls (by far the most expensive option lol, though given the price of childcare...), or play with them in an otherwise empty house lol.

Alpha was  pretty happy about them because He finally found a toy that could be used for punishment and be completely Not enjoyable for me. The riding crop, the whip, even the belt, all cause a kind of pain that I can successfully get off on. These clamps? With working up to it and having them on for a short (and I do mean short) period of time, I could probably get off on them. Not working up to it and having them left on for a little while longer? I think I'll do anything to avoid them lol.

If you truly enjoy pain, giving or receiving, then these are a great little addition to the toy box. If pain really isn't your thing and you want to experiment with nipple clamps, I would start out with something a little less intense.


  1. Great review. I laughed out loud!


  2. I love that line of bondage stuff. It's much cuter and innocent seeming than all that black leather. Course it's all a mirage since just looking at those nipple clamps makes me wince.

  3. Wonderful review! We have a few like that and mouse really isn't all that fond of them, but Daddy......



  4. LMAO! No, they don't take your nipples with them if they are pulled off, but they do take your sanity. Yes, I am speaking from experience. They are deceptively cute, aren't they?

  5. What a very... evocative review. Just love it. We can look up specs and such on the web sites of toy sellers and manufacturers. But when we use things, it's very subjective, so that's what we really need from reviews. Well, what *I* look for, anyway.

    I do love the color...

    As for pain, if what Alpha's really after is hurting you, then this suggestion might not do any good. But if he'd like you to be able to handle more pain... My Master the sadist has started training me to associate pain and pleasure. What I'm learning now is that when I'm aroused first, things hurt less or not at all. Magic!

    On the other hand, he has promised me some really nasty nipple clamps made to his specifications, and I'm sure they will hurt a lot no matter how aroused I am.


  6. Blogger pissed me off--it removed my post, I republished the draft, and all those cute comments are gone lol.

    Anyways...I see how it is, people like me reviewing things that aren't any fun. lol.

  7. I so want to get those for My slut, but I don't know if she could handle them yet. Maybe I will wait a little until her tolerance gets better.

  8. Peers around and checks the others aren't looking... Inside that style of clamp is a thin wire that rests inside the arms of the clamp. Get a thin blade or screwdriver and lever them away from the side. It will take the pressure off and make the clamp less bitey. And there you go... nipple clamps for beginners. No excuses now :D

  9. William, yea, I would work up to these lol. Plus, I do think it's one of those kinds of pain that goes much better for the receiver if you build up to it as opposed to just hooking the little monsters on lol.

    Master's piece,
    That's a neat little trick...I want to hoard it and make it a special secret lol.


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