Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Thinking Out Loud...And Being Heard

A couple of things have come to my attention lately.

1. My sense of humor is not easily assimilated by all.
2. Apparently, a fair amount of people read here.

I'll start with number one. I might not be able to add, but I can count!

There are times that I write with the beginner in mind. I know firsthand that search for others like myself, for more information, for thoughts and ideas that inspire the next "aha" moment.
I have felt very honored and humbled that there are people who have found some of my ramblings helpful and insightful.

Then there are times I joke about limits, beating, and a variety of things that some people probably think are not on the list of things to poke fun at.
The thing is, that header up there? It's a pretty apt description of this blog. And you never know what you might get when an over-thinker has the opportunity to do so out loud.

This blog is not a "how to" manual, or a composition of sex stories (you know, in case no one noticed or something). This place is just my thoughts and struggles, ideas and inspirations, with a side of ranting thrown in for good measure.
It's my life on a page floating around in the vast world we live in.
And really? I don't believe in "how to" manuals for ttwd.
If we were all busy following the way someone out here said we should submit, we would miss the most basic concept of power exchange--the manual is written by the Dominant. Yes, we get to make notes and advise edits, but it's all about the things we do within our relationships. Not outside influences on said relationships.

So in short, I am surprised and honored when someone finds my writing helpful, and I realize that my delivery and vast leaps from one topic to another, is not always easily assimilated. But I'm thinking out loud--it's not always about the good stuff you know.

Which brings me to observation number two.

I try not to pay much attention to how many people read here. While I do enjoy writing with others in mind, especially beginners, I don't want my writing influenced by the number of people who read here. Because honestly, that was never the purpose of this place--I didn't think anyone would read this blog when I sat down and started it 2 1/2 years ago.
People tend to come and go a lot (possibly related to my not-so-easily assimilated sense of humor). I don't take it personally because to do so would go against what I need from, and enjoy about, blogging--the ability to express whatever thoughts are on my mind at any given moment.

Oddly enough, there are apparently a number of you who do read here. Not only that, but you keep coming back for more.
While I do occasionally wonder what is wrong with you question your judgement in that, I cannot say that I am ungrateful.

So whatever your insane reasoning for visiting my little corner, I do appreciate my readers. And I appreciate the companionship, laughter, inspiration, and insight that I am given by your comments and the things you write in your own little corners.

And for those really quiet ones who come and go without a word, but do send the occasional kind email, I appreciate you too. Incidentally, there's a day coming up here in Blogland dedicated just to you.
I considered offering a bit of bribery to encourage lurkers to come say hi...But inside every good masochist lurks a sadist. And I wouldn't want to write checks my butt can't cash lol. So Friday's post will most likely be bribe-free.

Anyways, I noticed my followers hit a number rather larger than the two people residing in my living room that I started writing for. And I know that many have come and gone and will continue to do so, but I thought it worth a "thank you."
Because the original plan for this blog never included it being read.


  1. Warning this is one of my long ones (as in blog post lengthy)

    Firstly lmao because being british i know my sense of humour can be quite dry and laced with sarcsasm which pretty often im sure goes over people heads sometimes!

    I think it was your recent post (conversations with grandma) that i read a comment from someone whom i dont really think grasped the point, but what im learning is that the written word is open to interpretation perhaps more so in the format of blogging/personal writings.

    Unlike you i do not have a huge amount of followers but like you i dont write with an audience in mind, i cant because it would hinder me, i appreciate those that stop by but ultimatley what i write will be rambles that are on my mind or issues that i want to talk about.

    Im also not an advocate of 'how to manuals' (bdsm, d/s focused books etc) they are useful in putting flatpacked furniture together but i really dont need or want one to instruct me on how my relationship (ie me and my Master) should or should not be.

    So i wouldnt want my blog to be taken as a 'how to' guide and i dont write for it to be intended that way, however i do like blogging for the interaction, hearing others opinions, getting insights,healthy debate, laughing, feeling sad...connecting with people whether they agree with me or not.

    I like your blog because its not a sex blog, (no offence intended to those that are) you write a lot about the reality of D/s, the good and the struggles, you give great insights and i mean that sincerely.


    1. tori,
      I love your post-length comments. I think Alpha's eyes glaze over and he doesn't make it past them, but I like them!

      It's a bit more difficult to express sarcasm with the written word isn't it?

      I have this theory about the amount of followers over there on the right:
      1/8 of them were inebriated when they clicked the button.
      1/8 of them are inactive.
      1/8 of them are confused.
      1/4 of them are waiting for me to say something that sounds like it might be wise or insightful.
      1/4 enjoy a good train wreck
      1/16 are very nice people who drop by and say hi
      and the last 1/16 are just addicted to coffee and reading here is as good an excuse as any to drink copious amounts of caffeine.
      Do all those fractions even add up...

      If only Alpha didn't think that all manuals (like furniture assembly instructions), should be written at home...

      Thank you tori. I appreciate the thoughtfulness of your comments, and always enjoy my visits to your corner of blogland.

    2. yes the fractions add up. i'm a little bit obsessive that way.

      and i love your blog cos it's your thoughts. if i wanted sex stories i'd go click on one of my sex-stories links.

      and it's a how-to manual only enough that there's an explanation of what n why you do what you do, that leaves enough in the reader's mind empty for them to fill up on their own.

      and that's the best kind of learning IMHO.

      plus, i'm sitting here with coffee right now. :D

    3. Fondles,
      even though they add up, I'm thinking I made an error--the fraction related to caffeine consumption is much larger than my previous estimate lol.

      Learning and coffee-two of my very favorite things!

  2. Summarized: it is a TTWD blog.
    And a good one too.

    1. Bas,
      Oh...So the equivalent of two paper pages wasn't necessary?

      And thank you.

  3. I love your sense of humor :) I don't write with an audience in mind either, sometimes I write about sex, sometimes I don't. It all depends on what's on my mind at the moment.

    1. faerie,
      Thank you.
      And isn't that one of the biggest upsides to blogging, getting to let out whatever is on our minds at the moment?

  4. I love your sense of humor. And sometimes I am blown away by your writing. You hit chords that I sometimes have pushed way way back and you force me to bring them out and take a look. I love it even when I don't.

    My blog title say it all just like yours. If you want to read fine, it not SOBEIT.

    I'm with Bas, it's a ttwd blog and it's not always about BDSM, SM, D/s, DD, DH or RL. Just a good read.

    1. Thank you sunnygirl.
      Um...DH, DH, DH...Dominant husband?
      I feel like I should know that...

    2. i think it's domestic harmony. i was wondering about that myself just a week ago.

  5. I must say the reason i keep coming back to your corner of blog world, is because of the rambling,the insight they give, and that you are true to self. Your humor is also very refreshing.

    I find that my writing also drifts away from the D/s, BDSM and so forth dynamic, but I find that self discovery is also a very important aspect to the dynamic, and for growth.

    1. little one,
      Thank you.
      I too find that the self discovery aspects are really helpful in my relationship and the rest of life as well.

  6. Hey,
    Just wanted to say thanks for the email back (from one submissive to another). Guess im a lurker, i had no idea lol. As you already know i love your blog, it feels real and heartfelt. And living this lifestyle, you need something like that, something relate to. I dont know about the rest of you but i dont have friends or anyone else living D/s. Oh yeah and i cant even count the amount of people ive pissed of with my sense of humor, which is why i love yours!

    1. Anon,
      I think that was the sweetest email I have ever gotten, and I really did appreciate it.

      It is good to have something to relate to.
      We don't have friends who live D/s, and we don't really have any that can handle my sense of humor either lol.

  7. A lurker here :) i read every time you post--love love love your sense of humor. And (gasp!) i manage to follow your leaps from one topic to another. It isn't hard when you can see the logic behind the leap :) Keep writing for yourself. And keep your sense of humor!

    1. Anon,
      thank you!

      It's always nice to hear that it is possible to assimilate and interpret my ramblings.

  8. Oh, nail on the head...coffee! That's me. :)

    And maybe the insights, humour and sex too. :p

    From a lurker

    1. Antimama,
      nice to see you de-lurk!

  9. I'm one of those coffee addicts. Plus, I enjoy your humor.

    1. ancilla,
      I do think the coffee fraction was an error--it is apparently much larger than my previous estimate lol.


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