I am used to being in control of desire. Well, in a one-way-street kind of manner--turning it off. Can't turn it on to save my life, but I am very good at turning desires off.
Growth can be painful. Some of the most defining experiences of my life were the most painful. But they made me grow. Unwillingly perhaps lol, but evolution nonetheless.
I'm having a little crisis of self. While I feel like I am growing and changing for the better, I also question myself--what does it mean, who will I be, how will it go? I feel like I have jumped in the deep end and never actually learned how to swim. That I am becoming someone I don't know how to be.
Alpha says that I think to much. That I am afraid of myself.
Really though, is there anything more terrifying and unavoidable as oneself? After all, there is a wanton needy whore locked up down there. And she is seriously lacking in self control.