Rules and "oh shit" moments

For the person who asked my last Formspring question, this post is going to expand on my answer a bit.

A little while back I said I was heading for an "oh shit" moment. Yea, moment arriving and continuing lol. As any sub who has introduced the concept of BDSM into their relationship or asked for more knows, they can be rather common lol. We said goodbye to the safe word, then I asked to step things up a bit. A totally back-asswards way of going about things. He's making me nervous.  I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, but I have become painfully aware of my lack of recourse in any given situation. We will have a night to ourselves on Monday (holy shit, miracles do happen!), and the possibilities are almost endless...Anyways, our little shift, and my recent Formpring question have brought a lot more focus to the rules. For some reason, it is a lot easier for me to do a post saying that Alpha pissed all over me than it is to write one that tells what my rules are. You wouldn't think that they would be more personal lol, but there you have it.
So, in the interest of focusing on the previously unwritten and often understated rules, here they are:

The single most important rule is that I will always be honest. Truth is a tricky bitch to say the least.
He asks as many questions as He wants and I will answer truthfully. If He is satisfied with my performance, I  get to ask one question (one question! He's cheap).
I am not allowed to masturbate unless Alpha tells me to.
I cannot cum without permission.
I have to cum on command. If I don't I'm shit out of luck.
I must ask for permission to wear underwear unless going to work.
I am not allowed to sleep clothed (which is a real bitch when it's minus twenty out there).
I must brush my teeth every morning (okay, so it's ridiculous, life is crazy though and my kids are clean so pfhbt).
No online contact with other Dominants besides public interactions through blogs. If any other type of communication occurs, I am to explain it immediately.
I submit only to Him and no one else.
When being spanked or whipped I must say please,thank you, and keep count (seriously, I doubt He put much thought into the fact that it takes a few seconds to say these things. Thus my consistent inability to keep track and be forced to start over at one).
Though it has not been put to the test yet (well, the "who" part anyways), I will fuck when and who He says, He fucks who and when He wants.
I will keep myself shaved at all times. This is the only one I get any leeway with depending on the availability of razors lol.
If I have the cell phone and miss His call, I am to call back immediately.

So there you have it. My little list of previously very private rules that will, no doubt, continue to evolve and expand over time.