Monday, February 14, 2011

Shifting in submission

Okay, so anal is one of those topics that I don't usually give more than a passing mention. In fact, I didn't even have a label for it until not to long ago; however, last night deserves more than a passing mention.

As usual, my recollection of events is fuzzy and most likely out of order lol. We were lying in bed and Alpha said He should take my ass and asked me what I thought about that. I opened my mouth to say no (I always do, it's besides the fact that "no" doesn't count)...and nothing came out. I couldn't say it. The instant I realized that I couldn't actually bring myself to say it, I experienced the most instant and noticeable "shift" I have ever had. I knew that we had reached the point where He owns me completely. Of course, here I am having a freakin revelation and He still wants an answer. My reply was "confused." I'm so brilliant with the English language when I'm under. And He was going to take care of Himself for the most part and just cum in my ass which was really giving me the nice way out. But I couldn't handle Him not taking what He wanted, I needed Him to use me for His needs. And He did.
As I have said in a previous post, for me, anal is one of those things that is much more enjoyable as a fantasy and quite painful in practice. I was already so far under that I wasn't even halfway functional. And He wanted all the way in. I really couldn't take it. But He informed me that I could. He talked me though it. He made me breath and relax. And it was amazing. Then He told me to cum. I couldn't (here's where "shit out of luck" comes in). He did. I couldn't feel my arms, I couldn't form a coherent sentence, I was about as functional as a puddle of mush. Normally, if I don't get to cum, it fucks with my head and my body. All my muscles tense up, and I can't sleep. Not this time...this time I just floated. Then He made me go get water and a cigarette. As I was heading out of the bedroom sneezing (I must be allergic to ownership), He said "bless you," now we're all polite and shit--as if He hadn't been calling me a dirty whore five minutes earlier.


  1. Yes I open my mouth to say no all the time, lol. Then I stop and remember it doesn't matter if I say no so I try to come up with something else.
    Sounds like you had fun, happy valentines day!

  2. LOL -- when Mr. C and I were together he would -- I don't know -- be hitting me with the much hated plastic spoon

    and then a bit later he would lean on my hair and be all, "sorrysorrysorry"





Play nice.