Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Moving forwards

Alpha told me that when He gets His shit together (His words, not mine), He wants me to quit my job and go back to school. I was both thrilled and terrified. I would like to get my M.A. It would depend on Alpha being able to find work and would be complicated with our distance from everything, and the kids, and the list goes on. Maybe I'm just trying to talk myself out of it because it would be a pretty big step for me. But I am excited. Maybe I will be able to start in the Fall semester. We shall just see how the Spring and Summer shape up.

By telling me to go back to school, Alpha reminded me of the aspects of D/s that don't always get much attention--mainly, the factor of a Dominant encouraging His submissive's growth. I know that a part of Him would love for me to be home always; waiting at the door when He gets home every day. And a part of me would very much like that as well. But overall, as a person, I would feel unaccomplished. Like I had a purpose that I was wasting away.

I am reminded that He has faith in my abilities, in my intelligence, in me. That, while He calls the shots and I may not always like them, He always keeps my best interests in mind. That He will always push me to be better, to grow and evolve, to take another leap of faith.

I'm a little bit scared and a little bit excited.

2 comments:

  1. "He has faith in my abilities, in my intelligence, in me. That, while He calls the shots and I may not always like them, He always keeps my best interests in mind. That He will always push me to be better, to grow and evolve, to take another leap of faith."

    That's such a wonderful feeling. Lucky you.

    sg

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  2. This is an important aspect of caring for someone, I think. You need to care for them as a whole being, and see to their need to progress. I hope I find someone that will push me in that way, and I'm glad you've found that for your own life!

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Play nice.