At the end of my stupid phases of being a mouthy, don't-Dominate-me shit, i always crave more Domination. i don't understand that at all lol. Maybe if i did, i could cut down on my back and forth. i need M to Dominate me. i need Him to own me. And He knows it. Last night (here comes the haze again, i can't remember exactly what we were doing at the time), He asked me in that strict yet sympathetic tone of voice, "why do you fight Me little one? You need me to own you." It wasn't a question but He made me answer anyways. And the answer was yes i do. With all my being.
You know, the other night He actually called me a beneficial parasite. A parasite! i can't remember the exact comparison He decided to use (i love our late night conversations and always want to put them on the blog, but my mind is so hazy when they happen that by the time i get here i can't seem to pull the words back out of my mind lol).
Curled up with my head on His shoulder, my ass still stinging from the whipping, my body humming from orgasm, and my mind floating in space, i am complete. The trials and tribulations of daily life fade away and He becomes the only thing in my universe. My world revolves around Him. And still to this day, so many years later, it scares the shit out of me. Because life is fragile. The human body is delicate. Some day, every heartbeat stops. And i want to hear His until the end of my time on earth. i never knew it was possible to love someone so much it hurts. But it is.